Family violence survivor’s plea: ‘Do I need to be a corpse before something is done?’

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Helen Nicholls can tell most of the story of how her husband accused her of cheating on him, threatened to kill her and slashed her with a samurai sword in her bed, without breaking down.

Twice after the attack in early July, in which she sustained a three-centimetre deep gash to her arm, she has had to leave work because she found herself sobbing “for no reason”.

Helen Nicholls asks “do I have to be a corpse before anything is done” by the justice system to better serve victims of family violence.Credit: Simon Schluter

But Nicholls contains her emotions as she recounts the events which led to the perpetrator pleading guilty on November 6 to making a threat to kill and intentionally causing injury.

She is only overcome when it comes to discussing what she believes is a lack of meaningful consequences for serious violence, and the way victims feel abandoned.

Having braved the justice system, something research suggests many victim-survivors find too intimidating, Nicolls is left with the question: “Do I have to be a corpse before something is done?”

“I’m talking to you because there’s got to be a change in the judicial system: they’ve got to realise that you can’t be hurt and abused and then there are no consequences. You smack your child, and you have DHS on your case, but you can belt your wife, you can attempt to take her head off and there’s nothing?”

The number of Australian women who have died by violence in Australia in 2023 has reached 53, including four deaths in the past week in South Australia. Nicholls is determined to get her story out because she believes victim-survivors of serious family violence are not protected well enough or served by courts.

On the night she was attacked, Nicholls’ husband said he would cut her head off, she alleges.

“He came in really, really agitated … lost the plot and was accusing me of being with a person down at the hotel – not true – picked up a samurai sword, taking it out of its sheath, and started waving it around,” says Nicholls, a 62-year-old factory worker who loves collecting antiques, including the three decorative swords.

“He brought it down to my head, [and] I put my arm up instinctively.” She believes that, “if I hadn’t put my arm up to block the first blow, I would have had my throat cut … it was one or the other”.

Thousands of people participated in the Walk Against Family Violence in the Melbourne CBD on Friday.Credit: Luis Ascui

“I jumped out of bed, went to my bathroom, grabbed a towel and wrapped my arm up and said, ‘I’ve got to get to hospital, I’m in trouble here’. He said, ‘no’ grabbed me by the hair, brought me back and said to me, ‘I’m going to cut your f–ing head off, and I’ll do the 25 years’.”

Nicholls says she is grateful for training she received when working in security, as it meant she knew she needed to try to stay calm. But it did not help her get out of the house.

“I said, ‘I’ve got to go to hospital’, and he just wouldn’t let me leave. He’s 6′7″,” says the grandmother of 10.

“He just got in my face had his teeth on my cheek … as he was speaking, his teeth were gnashing on my face, he said I wasn’t going to hospital, I could just bleed.”

The next step is … we ring the undertaker. There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground: they don’t take it seriously unless you’re dead.

He then suggested he could “fix” the wound, to which Nicholls agreed, and when he went for the first aid kit she “grabbed the keys and ran”. She went to Rye police station, which was unattended, called police and ambulance services for help and was taken to hospital.

On the day of the court case, Nicholls says she was assured her perpetrator would be in custody for some time, even though she did not feel she could cope with what she had been warned would be an aggressive cross-examination that was necessary to pursue a further charge of deprivation of liberty.

“I said, ‘I’m not going to get up there and have to relive this again, and then get told that I brought it on, deserved it, or whatever, that’s just so wrong’.”

The perpetrator was released on a community corrections order, having already served four months in prison. Nicholls says this left her feeling dismayed and let down by a system she believed would offer heavier consequences for offenders, and more protection for victim-survivors.

Helen Nicholls says she no longer feels safe outside her home.Credit: Simon Schluter

“The court has actually made me angrier than [the perpetrator] did,” she says. “He’s my [now former] husband and he’s supposed to protect me, but when that fails, the only step you’ve got is the court to protect you: they say they’re going to send a message, and then they do nothing.

“The next step from there is, we ring the undertaker. There doesn’t seem to be any middle ground: they don’t take it seriously unless you’re dead – and there was another lady killed in South Australia yesterday – nothing’s changing.”

“I seriously realise now that it’s all about the perpetrator, it [the justice system] has got nothing to do with the victim, it really doesn’t.”

As thousands took to the streets on Friday in the 2023 March Against Family Violence, Kate Fitz-Gibbon, board chair of Victoria’s family violence primary prevention agency, Respect Victoria, said victim-survivors should not be facing a justice system that fails to secure their safety and retraumatises them.

Many victims feel they can’t safely give evidence and be cross examined and that’s an example of the system … failing to provide justice.

“The justice system was made by men and for men, and all too often survivor accounts tell us, continues to serve the interests of men,” Professor Fitz-Gibbon said. “The evidence has long told us that all too often the justice system is traumatising and can leave women in fear of further violence once court proceedings are finished.

“If we are to achieve effective legal system responses to violence against women then we need to reexamine our laws and policies – and how they are interpreted and applied by those in power.”

It takes victim-survivors immense courage to report to police and navigate the legal systems, Fitz-Gibbon said, and “despite significant efforts, systemic inequalities persist”.

Victims of Crime Commissioner Fiona McCormack said many victims felt they could not safely give evidence and be cross-examined.

“I have heard time and time again that victims are being further traumatised by a system which makes them feel unsafe, unheard, and unprotected from people who terrify them,” she said.

“I’ve heard of too many cases where authorities failed to act on not one, but several red flags, and it is time agencies started talking to each other in real time, so things don’t fall through the cracks. It’s incredibly frustrating that urgent changes aren’t being made when people’s lives and well-being are at risk.”

Jenny McNaughton, of Berry Street, one of Australia’s largest family services agencies, said efforts to ensure justice and protection for family violence victims are insufficient and a significant number, particularly those who are too terrified to navigate the system.”

“There’s much more to be done regarding holding men accountable and monitoring risk.”

The UN’s global campaign, 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence starts on Saturday, and runs until December 10. Victorian campaign initiatives are listed here.

If you or anyone you know needs support, you can contact the National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service on 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 131 114, or Beyond Blue 1300 224 636.

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